Almost all of us have gone through tough stages in our lives. In those days, we almost gave up hopes thinking life would be any better going forward but many of you reading this blog must already have faced and learnt to move on after a difficult phase like breakup and realized that those were just another bunch of “bad days“.
Breakups can be of three types : self-called, mutual or getting left out by a partner. Either of these could trigger a challenging post-breakup mental state which is very difficult to deal with most of the times. So, what do we do then?
Many of us resort to depression, cry for days, shut down doors to prevent any new happiness from coming through, cease social interactions, self-abuse, drug addictions, lack interest in living and what not.
It is understandable that the mental state one goes through after being alone all of a sudden could be very problematic in terms of staying calm and happy. We all are indeed slaves to our habits and these definitely haunt us in the post breakup days.
Be it a self-called breakup or one gets dumped or a mutual separation, there must have been a mix of bitter and sweet memories in the past which presently would seem tough to get over and move on.
Waking up to face each new day may seem exhausting with lack of interest on daily chores, self hygiene, appetite loss, less desire to talk to people and many more mental instabilities to get over with.
However there are ways to deal with the mind and find peace during these difficult days.
Of course, getting over this stage in life has never been easy for most people due to several emotional attachments from the past but allowing some space and time for the inner self to heal just does the job in the right way.
Here are few steps that may prove helpful in a post-breakup phase:
- Pick-up a task or a hobby that you were thinking of getting back to since long but weren’t able to. Get back to your favorite past time activity that you almost had left for quite sometime.
For example, start a new web series in Netflix that you had been thinking of watching since quite a while or just hit the gym!
Getting yourself busy at these times can sail you through days without having to bear the pain of missing out on your loved one.
One would need a lot of self-encouragement for this however if once started, this will keep the mind occupied and won’t allow thoughts from the past to bother.
- Talk to your close ones – friends, family. Any positive conversations during this period can boost your inner enthusiasm and may relive the intensity from within to start living happily again.
Talk to them about how you feel. It could be your regrets from the past, bitter-sweet memories or any such thing that is chaining you down from moving on.
People who genuinely care can make one feel lighter at heart with their comforting words.
Shutting down doors on the world and people would not help with moving on.
- Go out and meet new people. Even though the heart loses interest to interact, the mind has to remain active by meeting and talking to people.
If friends or family remind of the past due to their involvements, getting out and talking to/meeting new people does great amount of internal healing as they would be all unknown at first and may ignite new interests from within to think differently and make new friends in the process.
- Do things that the heart desires. This can be anything that the heart wishes for during these gloomy and lonely days. Treating oneself with a favorite dish, watching a favorite TV series/movie or reading a book once thought of or traveling to a place of desire – anything that pleases the mind and soul can act as a great deal of booster in overcoming the sad phase.
- Give up hopes and sever all ties. This would sound cruel however needs to be done in order to unchain oneself from the past and get rid of any hopes of getting back together. It is completely okay to cry out loud everyday for that matter!
What is broken once can only be joined but not mended back to the original state.